Some things just suck
This is a post by a woman who is tired and angry about starting from scratch over and over again.
This seriously sucks. Big time. I am not going to bring any motivational preaching here today. I am rather demotivated myself lately. And luckily, thanks to some honest people around me, I am not afraid to admit that. Yes, sometimes, even if you love the idea you are working on, you are going to feel really demotivated, frustrated, and angry.
I am in my 40s. Living abroad for 16 years, almost 17 really… when did that happen? I have been building and rebuilding my career, my friendships, my relationships so many times that I no longer keep track. The people I have listed as friends and connections would, in most cases, probably not even recognize me anymore. Maybe they don’t even remember they have worked with me. And in the last couple of years I was so busy not getting crazy between work, family, and home that I really had no time or energy left to build any sort of network.
And when I now started to invest time and effort to actually go out and show people I exist and have decent expertise, it feels so exhausting, demotivating, and sad…
To be fair, I managed to find some wonderful souls, and I am beyond grateful for that. And still, I feel like I am so far behind everything that should have already happened in my life and career that some days I just want to get away and knit, crochet, and stitch the whole day, not talking to anyone. Not pitching what I do. Not exchanging pleasantries with people absolutely not interested in what I do. Not feeling the pressure to shine, to sell, to sound inviting, excited about what I do.
I figured that the best events for me are the creative ones, where I disappear among other knitters, crocheters, and embroiderers and just chat about knots or lost stitches… Being part of the textile cult… And that makes me think sometimes that I am not suited for business at all. I might have huge knowledge of how things are run. No, I do have it. However, occasionally, when I am tired or rebuilding myself again, I wish I could simply spend my days knitting or gardening and not worrying about all the missing network, missing recommendations. Some days I wish I could just live in a lighthouse and spend whole days looking at the sea. Just like Moominpapa…
But this is not going to happen. The only lighthouse I have is the one in the graphics I am using, the one I use as a metaphor in my whole concept of work. And I guess I wanted to let you know in this post that we all feel bad sometimes. And there is no point in coloring that.
I am grateful to those great women around me who keep me grounded and still cheer up my dreams. I hope I meet more like them on my way. When the time comes.
On a brighter note — in March I am hosting these cool workshops.
08.03. in Vienna, at Sprechen Sie Success by NIWA Austria. Very excited to be part of their event and contribute to the full and juicy program!
And Kathrin from Female Speaker Academy allowed me to run a workshop for her speakers! Check out Kathrin and her offer! Even if you are not dreaming of being a speaker, your story deserves to be heard. You deserve to hear and own your story! And Kathrin will guide you through this!
If you also currently feel lost and don’t want to be alone with it — drop me a message or book a call. We really don’t have to go through all of this alone.
Oh, and me and Ela, another great soul, released another Women In Action Podcast episode! Real, honest and uplifting conversation is waiting for you!
